Being a poet, Growth, NaPoWriMo, NaPoWriMo2018, Personal Experiences, the color of moments

NaPoWriMo Day Twenty Four: Night Blooms Redux


For day twenty-four’s inspiration, I drew on a previous day’s prompt. You could call it the read and answer prompt. Keeping the whole of an already written poem covered, uncover the last line.  Then, answer that last line with your own line. Working your way up the poem from last line to first, repeat that process until you get to the first line of your inspiration/established poem. Your line-answer to the first line will be the last line in your new poem. I quiet like that exercise as it reminds me of action poetry–and it feels good to tap into creative-like-mindedness. Especially when I really like the poem.

Many years ago, I wrote a poem inspired by the print “The Night-Blowing Cereus”. At the time, I asked for feedback from a fellow poet. What he wrote was a gorgeous revision, and almost an entirely new poem. We told the same story, but what he wrote was masterful.

Today, I used his revision poem as my inspiration for a last line/first line exercise. And although, it is one of my favorite poems, I hadn’t read it in a while.  Thus safely keeping my writerly instinct and conscious clear.  First you’ll read his revision poem (forgive me Michael, the line breaks……), and then my NaPoWriMo version to follow

Nyctanthous anthem II
By Michael Aziz
O night absorb
The me of the day,
The salty symptoms of my pain.
O cucullated moon absorb me,
Gather me
In your cloaken folds,
Baptize me in glittering starlight,
Your constellations shuttled
Through my veins,
Brightening my dark prognosis
With the perfect peace of light.
But I will never know peace
Until my body burns
And the ashes of my limbs
Are smudges sealed
On another’s forehead
Absorb me O black blind night,
Absolve me this endless toiling instant
O seasoned star
Lurking in the autumn sky
Like a tiger
Pacing the lines of a village,
Come down to the riverside,
Here by the winding shore,
To quench, to bathe, here
Where my tall flame burns.

 

 

*******

Night Blooms Redux

I am but a blank space waiting

I take in air but leave no shadow.

O, trail behind me love

A prowling heart does wait, tending

each still breath with a step.

A far away planet gleams cold,

O, remnant rock remember me

in your vacuous

atmosphere.

Take me in, as you.

Too smooth to tell

are oils anointed,

Take on deep onyx as I burn

Until the all of me is malleable.

White now and muffled still

are the starbursts of deprivation.

And deep behind my eyes

are the wanton maps of dreams.

From deep to deep

So that I may shine,

I rest I am folded.

Take me in as you,

O cold and gleaming remnant rock

You are the nacre, you are the scale in my eye.

Prowling with each still,  blinded breath

until the all of me is malleable

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