I should be punished for sitting down to write when I have several other things to do.  Yet.  Here I am.  Like that Velvet Underground song says “a mainline in my veins…. leads to a center in my head”…. well…. that’s what it’s like sometimes….. anyway…. when the urge to write arrives.  I know, an analogy using heroin? A little wanton…. sorry….. perhaps too perfect timing….  it’s what’s playing…… 

I digress…………

Trying to move quicker than my body—my brain—will allow this morning.  I get this feeling of stubborn resistance.  Trying to guzzle coffee, play music, eat a breakfast, make lists.  Nothing’s working…… a guzzle has lead to a choke, my music choice has lulled me to distracted contemplation, my breakfast made me nauseous and the lists I’ve made in my head have broken apart into a confusing alphabet soup.

So…. Here I am.  Cleaning it all out.  Sweeping up a pile…. Sweeping up a mess in hopes for shinier floors……

Hoping to freaking wipe away the blurriness.  Guided clarity……… come soon…. so I can get moving.

White light, please don’t make me go insane……

(sorry).

Advertisements