And again, I sit.  My forehead pressed to print….. mind wanders… wishes letters would stick…… I have alms…. I have arms….. wishing to torpedo launch landing on the tops of their heads…. crash into spirit…… blend up what I know and love…. make it mind….. make me mine………  Make me mind…….

And again I sit…. begging for inaction…. begging for earth’s gravity to sit on my hands and I see….. I see manna crumbs swirling on Sunday’s figure eight…………

…..Swirl….. and I wish I could fall with them…. the crumbs…. to look around and see them all around me……. we bend with the wind and I belong somewhere…. in the fall onto……… in and among crowns and heads below…….

Wish I had been given a halo…. a halo….. a halo of stars so I’d never forget…. in case i forgot…… wish I could see me as You see me….. wearing that halo that You gave me……. that You wound up to fit…. the crown of my head…… lit up and tangled…. enmeshed…… with gold thread and splintered wood……. wish I had a tiny little flame above my head so you could see that I mean it…… and that what I set to right is right………

And then….. in the bright blinding spots that i make for myself…. my fists press against my lids….. a black curtain ripped….. from top to bottom with easy constellations….. pure love patience for later in the end……..

And I dreamt, last night that i was conducting a symphony….. I sent them messages sometimes….. And sometimes…. gestured…… calm and easy yogic gestures…… concsiousness coming in and out…. they saw and then they didn’t….. but they always felt….. those players…… those players with their bows, their arms, their alms…… for my song…….

And crazy flailing me gestures wildly now…….. shut off from the mind…. from the mine…… from the make me mind………..

And manna falling faster now….. as heart and heat accelerate their descent…. meltaway across the ground….. ever pure….. bits of truth and cracked open life…..

So a deeper dirge from the earth…. a deeper vibration rising from karma strata of the fashioned earth rises…. to meet the light… righting what is right….. by faith….. faith in certainty of what is hoped for…. the coming together…. dirge and dust and heavenly light and stars and flame……. perfect alignment of holy foreknowledge….. it is…… it can be……….. it will be………. because You…….

And so it stops now.  It slows now…….. and it begins now…. in another shadow…. for you……. and who weaves garlands to wear? Who weaves those knots those blue and green and swirling threads for you……. knotted tightly… a weave…. combed through with careful blessing fingertips and lips…. whisper words…. blessings from so far away…. soaked, drenched in each one…… because the You….. the You……..

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