Feeling warm from the inside out for the first time in….. maybe a month?….. Could have something to do with slow draining, slow gulping coffee down my throat this morning…. or my semi yogic no hurry heap of sweats and bed head on the couch…… Feels good to come back to this heap……

Feel like i’ve been wearing a paper suit for quite some time…….. A paper suit that looks pretty… looks well constructed but constricts natural and positional movement…. A paper suit that threatens to bend or tear in a hissy prissy fit of fragility…….. Construction paper wasn’t meant to move that way, so RRRRRRRRIP…. and all’s exposed….. Like when you bend over in an elementary school play, perhaps in the ham suit, or perhaps the daisy….. either way…… it’s you under there but you’re trapped for what seems like forever……..

So I’ve let some things in that i’ve resisted…. for a long time… resisted with a clamped down heart and a stubborn head……. resisted the color, the depth and the warmth that these things whisper-promised to provide……. this morning, i’m warm…….

Assured warmth….Secure and tightly woven weave of unfamiliar and ever familiar yarns and threads….. Gorgeous soft silk, fresh from the loom….. crimson, pale blue, soft and heavenly brown, reticent ancient green….. deep like the water, unassuming like the air……. All around me wraps me…..  wraps me so i won’t have to think… wraps me and all i have to do is touch the hem, grace the corner with my fingers and i know……

Stood the cold….. bare-armed for as long as i could…… tried to resist the bend and the shiver….. tried to resist the frost of winter…. can’t do this forever….. So from the sky the blanket fell….. floated silk in water….. unraveled and unfolded…. warm arms around my shoulder……. assured warmth…. secure and tightly woven weave of unfamiliar and ever familiar yarns and threads……

Advertisements