After approximately 7.5 hours of sleep, I popped out of bed at 6:15 this morning.  With a rested stroll under my feet I headed towards the kitchen to make coffee, start Collin’s breakfast and begin gathering things for his lunch.  I’m still drowsy at this point but not feeling tired, just anticipating my morning buzz…

And the ritual begins….

A full and wet coffee filter gets discarded with a swoop into the trash….  I catch a full bodied whiff of what’s to come as fresh grounds mound into a crisp brown filter (I’m past the point of jacking around with the tablespoon).  A quick rinse then, rushes of icy clean H2O storm the pot like niagra on the cliffs… Down down down the water goes into the reservoir then…. swish-click on the ‘on’ button…. Wait. for.  it.  A happy gurgling of pressure and bubbles reassures me.  Smiling, I walk off and do other things….

… A few minutes later the coffee is brewed and ready to be poured.  I already have a mug waiting and the handle of the coffee pot (waiting at attention) glides into my hand.  Dark, rich and steaming, languid ribbons fall into my mug and I ease it to my lips.  It’s still too hot to gulp, but that’s ok… all I need right now is just a sip…. Just a quick sip to get me through till’ the next long moment…. Ahhhhhh…… hmmmm?…. Another sip, maybe…. Ahhhhhhh–nope.  Another sip…. this’ll  be the one…. damn.  

“What’s up?” I wonder as another bitter sip floods over my tongue.  Ok, one more sip for the jury…
“Crapp-OLA!” I say out loud, “This coffee’s NOT strong enough”.  
Almost immediately I start to feel cranky, irritated and unwilling to go forward with the morning.  I resolve to dump the entire pot and start over–otherwise the whole DAY’s  destined for the crapper….. 
WELL.   Apparently I wasn’t just being temperamental about my coffee ritual.  Apparently, in cases of addiction, if a person’s expected amount of caffeine does not cross the blood brain barrier, considerable waves of irritation, lack of concentration or motivation will occur…. I guess coffee, once it hits the CNS competes for the neurotransmitter, adenosine, a natural stimulant.  AND without caffeine’s little crystals to get in the way, the body over-feels adenosine and starts to get… cranky…. blood vessels dilate and here comes the headache….
SO… did I catch my buzz finally? Yes but only after 2 more cups of STILL unsubstantial coffee and a trip to the gym.  And admittedly, it wasn’t until mid morning when I scored a post work out latte that I felt ‘normal’ and ready to cope….
What can I say…. I’m just a junkie…. and only looking ahead(planning and plotting) towards my next caffeine score….
*sigh*
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